What if cancer isn’t the enemy but the messenger? - Rethinking cancer language: a mini-series, Part 4

Why true healing begins on the inside, when we start listening to what our bodies are trying to tell us.

Cancer rates are rising, especially among women in their thirties and forties. The natural first question for many of us is: ‘Why me?’

Conventional medicine points to genetics and cellular biology. Alternative approaches blame toxins, diet or acidic environments. The truth is almost certainly more complex: a cocktail of environmental exposures, lifestyle, chronic stress, trauma and genetic predispositions.

But what if the more useful question isn’t ‘Why me?’ at all?

What if it’s: ‘What is my body trying to tell me about how I’ve been living my life?’

When your body screams what your mind won’t acknowledge

Our bodies are incredibly intelligent systems, constantly working to maintain balance despite the pressures we put them under. When they don’t have the right conditions to function, they start by whispering through signals like headaches, fatigue, restless sleep, back pain, frequent colds or a racing heartbeat. These aren’t just random inconveniences; they’re messages that something is out of alignment.

When we ignore the whispers long enough, the body sometimes has no choice but to turn up the volume and scream. Looking back, cancer didn’t feel like a random attack. It felt like my body’s final, desperate attempt to get my attention. For years, it had been trying to communicate through escalating symptoms I brushed aside until the message became impossible to ignore.

Sometimes the body needs a crisis to make us stop, listen and change.

Even conventional medicine recognises this: chronic stress triggers inflammation, and inflammation creates the very conditions where cancer and other illnesses can thrive. In other words, what I describe as the body sending messages is mirrored in what science already knows about how stress affects our biology.

The patterns that were making me sick

By the time of my diagnosis, the patterns were impossible to ignore. Years of toxic workplaces with chronic stress and abusive managers had worn me down. Add to that romantic relationships that left me emotionally traumatised and trapped in a constant state of fight or flight. I spent endless energy trying to fix people and situations that were never going to change, pouring out my life force until there was almost nothing left for healing. My nervous system lived in overdrive, the emotional chaos edging into PTSD. I was triggered daily, dysregulated and stuck in survival mode rather than truly living.

Breaking free: the first act of radical self-choice

The turning point came when I reached that moment of complete frustration where I finally said, ‘Enough of this.’ I couldn’t take another second of the toxic relationship. In that moment, I found the strength to push through, walk away and set myself free.

Walking away was my first radical act of choosing myself, and it cracked something wide open. No amount of healthy eating, supplements or medical treatment could compensate for living in constant emotional chaos and having my mind in pieces instead of at peace.

That single decision created space for something new: the beginning of truly understanding how profoundly our emotional state affects our physical health. Only when I removed myself from that environment could I start the deeper work of radically choosing myself in every area of life and, with it, restoring balance in my body.

The inner work that changes everything

Freeing up my energy for healing was only the beginning. What followed was a deeper transformation: learning to address the unconscious patterns that had drawn me into toxic environments in the first place.

Through Joe Dispenza’s meditations and therapy, I began rewiring my nervous system and creating new patterns. Joe Dispenza teaches that when we live in survival mode for too long, our bodies become chemically addicted to stress. We unconsciously seek out the familiar emotions of chaos, anger or fear, even though they’re destroying us. Stress hormones keep the body inflamed and the immune system suppressed, locking us in a loop.

Therapy gave me the tools to break those cycles: recognising my emotional patterns, finding healthier alternatives and learning to radically vocalise my needs. Practices like meditation, journaling, walks in nature, yoga and energy healing helped bring my body back into regulation. Over time, I started to see past situations from an empowered perspective rather than as a victim.

I also uncovered something deeper: for years, I had sought external validation, believing I wasn’t worthy of love and respect as I was. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. That belief kept me choosing emotionally unavailable partners who never truly chose me back. The real work was developing genuine self-love, the fierce, protective kind that refuses to accept treatment that diminishes you.

What radical self-choice looks like in practice

This shift began to touch every part of my life:

• In relationships: I started honouring myself in every connection — friends, family, colleagues or partners. Instead of repeating cycles of self-abandonment, I now protect my energy and open space only for relationships built on respect, reciprocity and genuine care.

• At work: I finally admitted cancer had changed me — my values, my priorities, my stress resilience. Pretending to be back to normal only led to burnout. I began asking for accommodations, negotiating reduced hours and speaking openly about the realities of working with cancer. Eventually, this grew into advocacy for others, helping to shape workplace practices that support people returning to work after cancer.

• In healthcare: I followed a personalised treatment plan and approached doctors as a collaborative partner, not a passive patient. I researched my options, sought multiple opinions and shaped protocols that aligned with my values, making informed choices from empowerment rather than fear.

  
  

When the body comes back into alignment

As I began choosing differently, my body responded. Anxiety softened. Chronic tension eased. My immune system strengthened. I was no longer constantly in fight or flight. My body shifted from surviving to healing.

Cancer wasn’t punishing me; it was demanding transformation. Once I listened, everything changed.

The message cancer was trying to deliver

For me, cancer was never just about cells. It was my body’s way of saying:

‘The life you’re living is unsustainable. The relationships you’re tolerating are toxic. The stress you’re carrying is eroding your health. Something fundamental must change — and it must change now.’

When I honoured that message, healing went far beyond medical treatment.

Why this matters beyond cancer

Many of us live in chronic stress, believing exhaustion and anxiety are simply normal. We pour energy into jobs that drain us and relationships that diminish us. We override the whispers until the body finally screams.

But illness isn’t always an enemy. Sometimes it’s a messenger.

The greatest medicine isn’t a battle plan, it’s radical self-love. Choosing ourselves fiercely. Protecting our energy. Aligning our lives with what truly matters.

This concludes the four-part mini-series on rethinking the language of cancer. We’ve explored why the term survivor doesn’t always reflect reality, how war metaphors can work against healing, whether we're fighting cancer or enduring treatment, and why seeing illness as a messenger can open the door to transformation.

Now the question is yours: What might your body be trying to tell you?

Related posts: When your body keeps the score of toxic love